When I am on the AS groups tab in the control panel, there is a section for who can create groups - and then there is the drop down with the different roles, and whatever you have chosen displays below with a little red x to delete it. When I try to delete one, it is removed, and then i save and it looks good, but if I come back to the page that role is still listed.

the role I am trying to delete is the registered user role - is that role there no matter what for some reason?

This is a known issue that the developers are aware of. We are working to resolve it.

Here is a script to remove all the roles, so you can then just add the ones you want. PLEASE make a backup of your database before you run this.
 

 
 
You may need to change the 0 to a different number if you are on a different portal.
 
Copy and paste the script into the Host SQL menu, execute. Then Go to Host Settings, and click Restart Application.
 
Then visit the global group settings page in Active Social.